From the P.A. of Wolfchase's new "Church of Relevancy and God, Inc.":
"Bluelight special on Jesus' 10 steps to a thinner waistline.""Price check on the latest copy of 'How to re-energize the church with the latest pop art and clever sermon titles.'"
"Are you tired of thinning hair? See how God doesn't want you bald!"
"Price check on 'How God would manage His stock portfolio.'"
"Clean up on the Communion aisle. We have spilt grape juice on the Communion aisle."
"Attention shoppers: Will the owner of a silver BMW with 'God is my co-pilot' and 'Follow me to Sunday School' bumper stickers please come to the front. You left your lights on."
"Attention shoppers: There is a lost child in our store, and no one seem to want to find him."
"Attention shoppers: If you find the lost child, please give him a copy of 'God's Five tips on how not to Get Lost in the Mall.'"
"Attention shoppers: We are apparently overstocked on Bibles, so there going from 75% off to 99% off."
"We have a return at the service desk. Someone has returned relevancy to go and seek reality."