Tuesday, April 24, 2007

A Facebook dialogue with Madam Johnson

In regards to a relevant Christian foodcourt:

Goodness! What would the house of "Church of Relevancy and God, Inc." say about a foodcourt? Perhaps we could stop by the "Communion Hut". I like my host smothered with extra cheese and mushrooms, and I'd like diet wine (or lime flavored...OR Root Beer wine! hmmm...) Or how about the "Fish and Bread" (as opposed to "Fish and Chips"), where you are served your order of fried fish with french fries (everyone knows there were french fries in first century Palestine, only they called them "Pharisee Fries") by a Jesus statue that hurls them at you (hope you're a good catch!). The possibilities are endless; anything for marketing Christianity for massive consumer consumption, right?
[And don't forget] to mention Burger King of Kings. You can have the Trinity special: one Whopper, that's God; one Whopper Jr., that's Jesus; and a side of fries with a drink, which is the Holy Spirit (Burger King Communion!). I'd eat at Eucharist Bell (would I have to pray over my own food?).
[And what about] the Fruits of the Spirit? We could have Spirit Smoothies! And you can enjoy your smoothie at our high-tech oxygen bar (called "Smooth Spirit," or "Pneuma through a Tuba"...not sure which), while enjoying Praise and Worship Hits. Later, you can enjoy a brisk workout at the Christian Yoga and Palates center where you do exercises to Chris Tomlin music videos.